I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
