is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
