Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
