I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
