Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
