He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
