dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
false alarm, still single
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