Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
