Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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