You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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