Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
