I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
