Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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