i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
