I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
