Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
