Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
