I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
