Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
