I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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