someone threw a dead crab at me
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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