found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
