SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
