It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
