I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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