And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
