ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
