Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
