he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We are two peas in an std pod
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have feelings that need drinking.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
