i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
