if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
