One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
false alarm, still single
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
