question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
