Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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