I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
