Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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