there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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