How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
