He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
