Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
