White coat. Heels.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
