I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
True but thats because hes a fetus.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
