well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
