whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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