Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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