we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
