It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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