Sacagawea was the original milf.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
