At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
