On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
