My room smells like vodka and shame
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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