Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
