Your tits are I can't wait for
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
